How this board is sorted
Single-hit damage, then reach, using the card numbers. The Kitchen Knife deals more damage per second if the listed swing times are right, and every swing is loud. The Deadweight card and its shop sentence do not match exactly, so it is not placed above the free bat.
S tier
Player decision Default melee when you have room to swing and you care about reach more than speed.
A tier
Player decision Take it when you need a tool that can also hit, and you already have a plan for locked doors.
Player decision Carry it for doors and barriers even if you own a bat. The ranking is about the card, not about leaving the hammer at home.
Player decision A fair early weapon when the bat has not shown up. Replace it for reach, not because it is useless.
B tier
Player decision Buy it only if you want the wide swing. It does not beat the free bat on the printed damage number.
Player decision Best when stamina is the limit and you can stand close. A poor choice when you need reach or when silence matters more than speed.
C tier
Player decision Use it until a pan, hammer or bat is in the flat. Do not keep it as the only weapon for the Day 20 trip.
Player decision Carry it as a tool. Hit with it only if nothing longer is in the other hand.
D tier
Player decision Buy it for tins, not for fighting. A free bat or even a rolling pin outranges it.